Everyday, I take my clothes off in the mirror and admire my perfectly imperfect body in real time. I do this daily for number of difference reasons that all circle around to one end point…my imperfections.
There was a time in my life where I let depression get the best of me. At the time, my depression was unrecognizable by not only me but those around me. I wasn’t going out with my friends anymore, eating heavily, and I really just started feeling insecure.
Before I knew it, I was 170 lbs and I couldn’t recognize the girl in the mirror, figuratively and literally.
This went on for sometime. As I began to try to piece my life back together, I realized that I had really lost myself because I got so immersed in someone else. Everything I was doing was an attempt to please this person and/or enhance our friendship/relationship. I was not until I deployed and spent time with just myself, that I began to recognize my ways.
While on deployment, I decided I was going to make a change and that was to lose weight and relieve stress. I figured going to the gym would be the perfect release. I hit the gym hard everyday for 5 straight months and as a result I was strong enough to let go of some heavy pounds that were weighing me down. Pounds that were keeping me stuck in one position and halting my self progression. After losing 20 lbs and letting that person go, I was able to finally free up some space to make room for me, the real me.
After returning home, I began to undress in the mirror regularly. I wrote words of affirmation and my imperfections on sticky notes (Mary Jane Paul Vibes) and stuck them all around the mirror. Everyday, I would undress in the mirror and begin to read each on aloud. As I became more comfortable in my skin, and with myself, I started the throw away the sticky notes. I didn’t need them anymore as those words were now believable enough in my mind that I didn’t need to see them everyday. However, there were three words that I wrote in red lipstick, in the dead center of my mirror. The last words to be erased and the only words I needed to believe to continue my self discovery journey. Those three words were…I LOVE YOU!
FIERCE FAM, I encourage you to find a way(s) to lift yourselves everyday. To own your imperfections and begin loving yourself more and more for who you are. Become comfortable in your skin, for YOU and NO ONE else.
“Remember, FIERCE IS SHE who embraces her imperfections.”